Byron Katie said, “All war belongs on paper.” What does that mean?
When there’s a war going on in our heads, our thoughts need to be written out and questioned.
Katie isn’t asking us to think about our thoughts; that would be like trying to solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it—a warning often credited to Einstein. Questioning is different. Questioning is open. It invites a new, present awareness, and writing our thoughts on paper helps us do that because it puts them outside us, so we can see them from a different angle, a different point of view.
I used to question my thoughts so often that I had a trunk full of journals. I finally threw them away during my last move. At first, questioning my thoughts was hard. It was hard for two reasons:
1) I thought my thoughts were right—true—and I thought questioning them was teaching myself to lie to myself.
2) I thought if I looked at my thoughts too deeply, I would come face to face with the truth about myself: I am an abomination.
Both of those ideas were wrong, and I learned that through questioning my thoughts despite them.
Once I started questioning my thoughts, it became a new habit. I got to where anytime I started to suffer from a story in my mind, I’d write it down and question it. It got easier and easier to see through my thoughts until finally I could question them without writing them down—until finally questioning and seeing beyond them became automatic, as automatic as believing them once was.
Nowadays, thoughts still appear in my mind that could lead to suffering. I can feel a moment of stress, trepidation, resistance—but then a question appears. In my case, it is usually something like, “Is it true?” and I see immediately that it isn’t. Or “Am I sure?” and I realize I’m not. It’s as if my brain has learned to question thoughts on its own, and indeed, I think it has.
If you aren’t yet writing your thoughts out and questioning them each time you suffer, try it. The fact that it’s hard in the beginning isn’t a reason to give up. It’s not a statement about you or your ability to question thoughts. It only means your brain is learning to do something new.
(Note: Katie teaches her method of questioning, called The Work, in Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.)
